What Alan Should Have Said
by Nolathree
Summary: This takes place just before Caroline and Kate leave for their wedding. All characters gratefully borrowed from Sally Wainwright and the BBC with no copyright, infringement or offense intended.


Caroline stood in her mother's apartment and looked at her incredulously. She couldn't believe her ears upon hearing that Celia was too caught up in her own drama to attend her wedding to Kate. She said all she could think to say but Celia was her usual unbending self. Exasperated, she turned on her heel and walked out, leaving Celia to wallow in her own misery.

She found Alan still talking with Kate in their kitchen where she left them just a few minutes before. "Well, you are right Alan. She says she isn't coming and as far as I'm concerned this is the last straw," she said. "I don't know what more I can say to her to make her understand how she makes me feel when she fails to show for the biggest moments in my life but I am done. No more."

With shaking hands, she poured herself a glass of water and tried to calm down. Turning back to face Kate and Alan, she continued, "Did she tell you that she didn't come to the ceremony when I got my doctorate at Oxford?" The tears were now fully formed in her eyes. "She was mad at my father who she had just caught with one of her friends from the gardening club so she took it out on me. I vowed then and there that I would never let her hurt me like that again but here she is doing it again. I can't believe that she values me so little that she would miss our wedding."

"Oh Caroline," Kate exclaimed. "I don't know what to say. How sad for her and how sad for you. What can I do?" Caroline took Kate's hand and said, "Nothing. This time she is doing it to both of us and I will not allow her to hurt you or our baby. I am done."

"Well I'm not going to let her do this to either of you," said Alan. "There are a few things I should have said to her before now and I better go do it now. I'll get her there."

"Thanks, Alan. I won't hold my breath but I appreciate you trying," Caroline said with a resignation in her voice. Kate quickly moved to comfort her while Alan nervously smoothed his tie and took his leave. "I am sorry for my family drama, Kate," Caroline said as Kate pulled her into her arms.

"Celia, where are you?" asked Alan as he entered their flat. He waited for what seemed like forever until Celia, who never answered him, quietly walked back into the sitting room.

"We need to talk about some home truths. I know you are hurting and I know that my ancient indiscretion opened some old wounds, but you have to move past this and do it now for Caroline's sake as well as your own," he began.

"Caroline? What's she got to do with this?" Celia queried.

"Everything," Alan said with restraint in his voice. "She's been your world and got you through some very lonely and difficult times. Imagine if she hadn't been there for you every time Kenneth disappointed you. What joy would you have had without her to lean on? In case you haven't noticed, I am not Kenneth and I cannot stand by while you throw away your last chance at being a part of her life. If you do, you will be all alone."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Remember when you came to the hospital after my heart attack and told me you finally understood how happy and complete Kate makes Caroline feel? You said you realized you never saw her with the glow she has when she is with Kate," Alan explained. "If you do not attend this wedding you will extinguish some of her glow. Today is about them and celebrating the fact that they have managed to find each other not just once but twice. They want to share that joy with us. We know what that is like as we found each other twice and I thank the stars every day that we have. Let's go share their joy as well as ours with them."

Although Celia sat stoically, Alan could tell she was taking in every word he said so he continued, "I know with every fiber in my being that had your letter gotten to me, I would have courted you endlessly until you agreed to marry me and once you did, I never would have cheated on you. While it's hard to explain why I did what I did to Eileen, I only did it because I just never felt complete. It took finding you again for me to realized I have spent all my life looking for you, my missing piece. I know that makes little sense but it is true."

"Oh, Alan," she replied. "I wish I could believe you."

"Well, you have two choices. Either you believe me, we go to the wedding and then live the rest of our days together with your beautiful daughter, her loving wife and their daughter, or do not believe me, you skip the wedding and you live the rest of your days alone. I can't believe that you want to be alone but you will be," he said. "I look at Kate and Caroline and think of all the promise their life holds in the coming months and years. We've missed out on so much time together, let's not miss out on sharing our remaining time together. And let's not miss out on being part of their lives. Caroline was very clear just now that she will never forgive you if you do not go to the wedding. If you won't do it for me, at least do it for her. She deserves your support."

Celia remained quiet. Alan looked at the mantle clock, worried that time was running out as the wedding was scheduled to start in forty minutes. Not knowing what else to do to convince her, he moved to Celia and held out his arms. Although she avoided his eyes, she eventually allowed him to embrace her in a reassuring hug. When she finally spoke, she said, "This has just brought up so many old wounds that I feel like I am treading water, but I do love you, you know."

"If you love me then let's go to this wedding," he pushed. "If you are treading water, I'll be your life preserver. I'm not Kenneth and I will do whatever it takes to make this right but you have to go to the wedding."

Without another word, Celia went into the bedroom to dress as quickly as she could. A few minutes later, she re-entered the sitting room just as Lawrence entered through the French doors. " I just came to tell you we have to go now," he said. "Granny, you look great. I'll bet Mum will love that hat."

"The hat's nothing," she said. "Just wait until she hears my mother-of-the bride speech."


End file.
